James Christian Kimmel is an American tv host, actor, author & producer. He is the host and executive maker of Jimmy Kimmel Live, the late-night talking entertainment that premiered on ABC on Jan 26, 2003, in the Hollywood Masonic building in Hollywood, California. Jimmy hosted the primetime Emmy Awards in 2012 & 2016, and the Academy in 2017 & 2018.
Jimmy Kimmel started his career working in the radio industry while in high school, hosting a Sunday night interview show on UNLV’s college station, KUNV. In 1989, Jimmy landed his first paying work alongside Voss as morning drive co-host of The Me and Him, exhibit in KZOK-FM in Seattle, Washington.
In Hollywood, there won’t be anyone who doesn’t know Jimmy. Almost, he interviewed all the celebrities in Hollywood. At the beginning of his career, he got fired from several stations still managed to reach these heights. So here we WPB Suggest has gathered top Jimmy Kimmel Quotes to read and share.
Jimmy Kimmel Quotes Of All Time
- “I’m totally weird. I’m totally honest and I’m totally inappropriate sometimes. And the thing is, for me to say I wasn’t a genius, I would just be lying to you and myself.”
- “Don’t try to antagonize me, because you know what, it’s not safe for you in the zoo. Never think I’m not from Chicago for one second.”
- “I’m not the man to unite this country, but it can be done. You know, if every person watching this show I don’t want to get too serious, but there are millions and millions of people watching right now and if every one of you took a minute to reach out to one person you disagree with, someone you like and have a positive, considerate conversation not as liberals or conservatives, as Americans if we could all do that, we can make America great again. We really could. It starts with us.”
- “I’m moving to Sedona, Arizona. I can’t take it anymore. I can’t walk down the streets and see the homeless.”
- “If I’m a clown you, sean, are the whole circus”
- “I’m totally weird, and I’m totally honest, and I’m totally inappropriate sometimes. And the thing is, for me to say I wasn’t a genius, I would just be lying to you and to myself.”
- “I want to do the comedy version of The Tonight Show.”
- “When Conan first came on, I thought, This guy is going to be great. A lot of silly and smart stuff. I thought, When this guy smoothes out, he’s going to be real good. He never smoothed out.”
- “It’s blatantly clear you were handed a script by people who make billions from vaccines. How very original of you.”
- “May I just say you are a fu**ing piece od sh*t! Hollywood scumbag, excuse my french drop dead you fu**ing douche bag.”
- “I just thought it was so amazing that I was saying this in real-time, in real life, you know what I’m saying, with my position. Just to completely wild out”
- “I do everything I can to break media.”
- “How much crack does a mayor have to smoke to win Person of the Year?.”
- “I do have a treadmill desk in my office, and for a while, I would walk on it while checking email and going through jokes. I haven’t walked on it in probably four months. Now it’s more of an upright dining table for me. At some point, moss will grow over it, birds will build nests, and nature will reclaim the treadmill as its own.”
- “No matter who it is, I hate to see people losing their jobs. I really do.”
Jimmy Kimmel Quotes
- “It’s a bad sign when you take a nap and people instantly call the paramedics.”
- “I never imagined being on television.”
- ” I got kicked out of Brownies and they won’t give me another chance to keep my clothes on at camp.”
- “Establishing relationships with friendly foreign leaders is important for Trump right now because he needs to build a network of countries he can flee to when the time comes.”
- “A lot of kids across the country got the day off from school because of Halloween. I’m pretty sure this is why we’re falling behind China. Not only did their kids not get the day off from school, but they also made all of our kids’ costumes.”
- “I don’t want to ruin it for you, but at the end, Voldemort kills Harry with a fairly vicious atomic wedgie.”
- “All my money is tied up in Skee ball tickets.”
- “President Obama plans to create thousands of new jobs by replacing all automobile GPS systems with real people who sit in the back seat with a map.”
- “I still love comic books. When you have a kid, that’s an excuse to keep reading all the comic books.”
- “It’s funny how all of this has worked out – I wasn’t popular in high school, but now every drunken guy in the United States wants to be my pal. They all want to buy me a shot, and pretty soon I’m throwing up.”
- “My aunt & uncle are clearly civilians.”
- “For me, I’m a creative genius. There’s no other way to word it.”
- “I’m not running for office. I’m just here to make good music.”
- “I do everything I can to break media.”
- “Almost every week, someone’s mad at me.”
- “The truth is, we have this idea that late-night is about creativity and being cool, but that’s not our job. Our job is to get as many people watching the commercials in between our shows. That’s the reality of it.”
Jimmy Kimmel Quotes For Instagram
- “At the Emmys, you’ve got a bunch of people who are used to being on TV on TV. You don’t have that at the Oscars. At the Oscars, you have people who are used to having 40 takes.”
- “I’m feeling fine. I have my medication, and my energy’s good. I only get unusual ailments.”
- “I have like fifteen televisions in my house.”
- ” Congratulations, everybody who’s nominated tonight. Thank you for letting me be a part of this. I’m excited, I’ve never been to the Oscars before. It’s my first time here. And the way you people go through hosts, it’s probably my last time here. So I’m going to enjoy this while I’m here. This broadcast is being watched live by millions of Americans, and around the world in more than 225 countries that now hate us. And I think that is an amazing thing.”
- “I don’t believe that lack of intelligence and appreciation for lowbrow comedy go hand-in-hand necessarily.”
- “There were a lot of people who didn’t think we’d get to this milestone.”
- “Aren’t all marriages kind of gay? As a man, when you get married, essentially what you’re saying is ‘I will never touch another woman as long as I live, now let’s put jewellery on each other and dance.”
- “If you want to do a talk show on network television, you’re probably going to wind up having a desk and a band, wearing a suit, and having a sidekick. Audiences want to feel comfortable.”
- ” Love is the commitment of my will to your needs and best interests, regardless of the cost.”
- “Don’t be fooled by the dumb blonde routine. This woman is as smart as a rock.”
- “Hollywood police used ‘non-lethal bean bags’ to control a crowd that was rioting. Is there such a thing as lethal bean bags? If the riot escalated, they were authorized to switch to Marshmallow Peeps.”
- “I wonder if Halloween is the one day of the year Lady Gaga wears sensible slacks.”
- “I don’t really need to be dirty to be funny.”
- “When I first saw you I fell in love, and you smiled because you knew.”
Best Jimmy Kimmel Quotes
- “Real emotion is good or doing a good job of faking real emotion.”
- “I’m a creative consultant, whatever that means.”
- “Though it makes me sick to do so without my writers, there are more than a hundred people whose financial well-being depends on our show. It is time to go back to work.”
- “I started doing a half-hour Sunday night talk show on college radio station KUNV. That excited me more than anything I’d ever done. I went through the Yellow Pages to find people who seemed interesting. I’d goof on these people, but they were so excited to be on the radio that they didn’t even notice.”
- “We use puppets because they can get away with more.”
- “That’s my main flaw: I always think authority figures or my boss is going to think something I do is funny. And usually, they don’t.”
- “Yes, Jesus rose from the dead. No, he’s not a zombie.”
- “You can say Pizza Hut is terrible pizza, but they also sell more pizzas than anybody else.”
- “A year from now you’ll wish you started today.”
- “I’m a terrible golfer.”
- “We’re going to give men what they really want to see on TV. Monkeys, midgets, beer drinking and women jumping on trampolines.”
- “I know thеrе are, likе, 12 rulеѕ fоr lаtе night: a dеѕk, a band. Will реорlе take mе ѕеriоuѕlу if I dоn’t wеаr a tiе?”
- “Don’t worry, no one calls the paramedics when I take a nap.”
- “I wish Vine had Tivo. Who can sit through all that?”
- “I get product placement and everything, but I’m sorry, Superman’s father was NOT named Purell.”
Jimmy Kimmel Quotes For Facebook
- “Thеrе’ѕ аn air оf mуѕtеrу аrоund thе Masons, but the reality is that they’re mostly a bunch of veterans getting drunk in a lodge thаt they’ve built tо look like a tеmрlе. It’ѕ just a bunсh оf guуѕ trуing tо get аwау frоm their wivеѕ.”
- “I go to Costco every weekend. It’s my favourite part of the week.”
- “I did not have any delusions of grandeur as a kid.”
- “Children who know they are loved, know they have a purpose, and know they have a hope are prepared for anything this world wants to dish up.”
- “You know what the most dangerous neighbourhood in the country is right now? The comments section on every webpage. No sane person would ever say the kind of things that they write online to someone face-to-face. If you did, you’d get killed.”
- “How is it possible, she thought, that a person can drive a thinking, feeling, animal to slaughter and not become less than an animal himself?”
- “I don’t eat two days a week. And people are fascinated by it, but it works. If you cut two days of food out of your life you will lose weight.”
- “On Monday & Thursday, I eat fewer than 500 calories a day, then I eat like a pig for the other five days. You surprise the body keep it guessing. I got the idea from a BBC documentary about this Indian man who seemed about 138 years old & said his secret was severe calorie restriction.”
- “There’s an air of mystery around the Masons, but the reality is that they’re mostly a bunch of veterans getting drunk in a lodge that they’ve built to look like a temple. It’s just a bunch of guys trying to get away from their wives.”
- “I lose my lighter all the time, more than anything. I steal other people’s lighters just to lose them. If you have a lighter I will take it and make it vanish.”
- “Whеn уоu know ѕоmеоnе you саn mаkе a little mоrе fun оf them withоut them gеtting offended.”
More Jimmy Kimmel Quotes
- “My definition of cursing is probably different from what other people’s definitions are.”
- “Privilege is invisible to those who have it.”
- ” I want to say thank you to President Trump. I mean remember last year when it seemed like the Oscars were racist? It has been an amazing year for movies. Black people saved NASA and white people saved jazz. That’s what you call progress.”
- “If I have one criticism of the other late-night shows, it’s that they’re almost entirely scripted.”
- “What I said about Pistons fans during halftime was a joke, nothing more. If I offended anyone, I’m sorry. Clearly, over the past 10 years, we in L.A. have taken a commanding lead in post-game riots. If the Lakers win, I plan to overturn my own car.”
- “Rainbows are Gods way of telling us that he likes to jazz things up sometimes.”
- “There’s an air of mystery around the Masons, but the reality is that they’re mostly a bunch of veterans getting drunk in a lodge that they’ve built to look like a temple. It’s just a bunch of guys trying to get away from their wives.”
- “The TSA downgraded the threat level for flights between the U.S. and England from severe to high. So if you’re nervous about taking a trip to London, there’s no longer a severe chance of exploding, just a high one now.”
- “You dоn’t nееd to еxоrсiѕе уоur реrѕоnаl dеmоnѕ оnѕtаgе.”
- “On a night like this, do you ever wonder which ones of your friends didn’t vote for you?.”
- “Almost half our representatives in Washington apparently know more about science than our scientists. Or they pretend to because big corporations give them a lot of money to make sure they can keep doing the destructive things that they do.”
- “You’re never so bad you can’t have a Savior, no matter how much you’ve sinned.”
- “Our words, your schedule, your choices, your obedience, the way you savour your victories and the way you swallow your defeats all help to define your life. It is this definition that your children rely on most as they seek to chart their own future.”
- “I try hard not to repeat myself and not to do material other people are doing. We transcribe every other late-night show to make sure there’s no similarity.”
- “I just want you to know, that if I get down on one knee for you, it like that I’ve never had that reservation and it’s because of your sincerity and your words of how you said things that more than anyone in my life, I’ve never felt as much in the moment than I’ve ever felt it with you.”
- “I don’t know if we can call ourselves everyday Joes. I think Supermen is more appropriate. Were just trying to take back the medium we invented!”
- “If your baby is going to die, and it doesn’t have to, it shouldn’t matter how much money you make.”
- “Dear Cuba loved you in Snow Dogs. Kisses and hugs, kisses and hugs, Joan.”
I hope everyone has enjoyed reading these wonderful Jimmy Kimmel Quotes. Let us know in the comment section below that which quote struck you the most.
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